


the feelings that i have no name for

by jadedgalaxies (Emeraldxoxo)



Series: Hinata rarepairs [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boys Kissing, Jealousy, M/M, Slight Canon Divergence, not quite friendship turns into not quite romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 21:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9516809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emeraldxoxo/pseuds/jadedgalaxies
Summary: Hinata keeps showing up to Shiratorizawa practice and Goshiki doesn't understand him or the new feelings brewing in his chest.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hinata-ships are my life

Hinata’s eyes sparkle when Goshiki does anything slightly remarkable. It’s both endearing and unnerving. He observes Goshiki, memorizing his form, mapping the muscles that jump beneath his skin when he hits a particularly powerful spike. Goshiki wipes away sweat with his shirt, feeling his pulse jump when Hinata flies passed him to repeat what he just saw.

With disturbing accuracy, he replicates Goshiki’s spike to near perfection. A shiver runs down his spine, his gaze flittering to the somewhat impressed look on Ushijima’s face. Hinata bustles up to him, all sparkly, smiles and restless, making sounds Goshiki can’t decipher.

He’s still not sure why Hinata’s here, especially after Ushijima’s lackluster explanation that coach was absent. Hinata’s leaning towards him, forcing his way into Goshiki’s space with a vengeance and his hands fly over his head to once again replicate Goshiki’s spike.

“Cool!!” Goshiki finally picks out a word he can understand and he feels the blush before he can stop it. He loves the attention he gets from his team when he blows passed a block and thrives on their praise but for some reason, Hinata’s flattery is embarrassing.

“Thanks,” he says, a moment too late and his cheeks burn hotter. He can hear Tendou’s laugh ringing in his ears and he spins away from the confused red head. Shirabu claps Goshiki on the shoulder when he collects his water bottle. Goshiki makes the mistake of glancing over his shoulder and Hinata’s trying out Goshiki’s spike again, with much less success than just a few minutes ago.

A laugh bubbles through his lips and Shirabu shakes his head.

* * *

Goshiki’s the first one to the gym, unsurprising though he usually races Ushijima and he almost trips when he spots Hinata peering into the gym. He’s in his school’s uniform, on his stomach and grasping the saplings that are sprouting underneath the window.

“What are you doing?” Goshiki asks. Hinata springs to his feet, his uniform dusty with a handful of grass in his hand.

“I – um…” he trails off, opening his fist to awkwardly brush away the grass. “Practice?”

Goshiki stares at him, his mouth falling agape. “Doesn’t Karasuno have practice?”

Hinata accidentally smears more dirt on his uniform. “No.” He doesn’t understand him; he doesn’t get what’s going on. Hinata looks like a child caught in a lie, his fingers twisting in front of him in knots. Goshiki doesn’t even know why he cares. He doesn’t know Hinata, really, and his team is the reason Shiratorizawa isn’t going to nationals.

“Uh, okay, well if you talk to coach…” Goshiki says, his fingers twitching at his sides. And, like flicking on a light switch, Hinata was grinning again, his eyes sparkly again as he bounces towards Goshiki who fights the urge to take a step back.

“Can you show me that spike again?! The one where it’s all schwa and it makes you feel all gwaah?!” Hinata exclaims, repeatedly clenching his fists. Goshiki nods, slightly taken back and leads Hinata into the empty gym.

With a great vigour, Hinata helps Goshiki set up the net in record time. Hinata had tripped while holding the net and fell in a tangled mess. He smiled up at Goshiki, his face bright red and Goshiki could only bark a laugh that had Hinata blushing harder.

After his team filtered in, Hinata ran up to Washijo, bowing repeatedly with his hands clasped in front of him. Washijo had glared down at him and after a long-suffering silence, Washijo agreed to let him stay on the condition that he helped with spikes and that was it. He apparently had a word limit, too, because Tendou tried to engage in his usual teasing and was met with nodding.

He remained in his spot, tossing volleyballs to Shirabu who set them to the rest of the team. The third years wouldn’t be here much longer, Goshiki knew that much. They were mostly still here to keep the team together while the new members slowly integrated into the workings of the team. Hinata’s eyes took on an unusual glean, like a crow inspecting its prey. It’s a much different look than the sparkly one and Goshiki struggles to brush off the unnerve Hinata’s perceptive gaze.

Goshiki was on edge all practice. It felt like there was a nerve pinched in his spine, like he could never truly feel the thrill of getting a truly spectacular spike in. He fumbled more often than usual and Tendou had teased him relentlessly about being Ace if he couldn’t even receive properly.

Hinata stuck around after practice was over, waiting outside the club room as Goshiki’s team cleaned themselves up. His team is buzzing with an overwhelming desire to know why Hinata kept showing up before Ushijima barked for them to shut up.

Goshiki followed Shirabu out, shutting the door on Tendou’s sexual innuendo and his sight settles on Hinata. He’s twenty feet away, sitting on the bike rack, his legs swinging as he sips from a juice can.

“Why is he still here?” Shirabu grumbles, stomping off with an awkward goodbye over his shoulder.

Goshiki walks over, intent on ignoring Hinata, collect his bike and go but Hinata beams up at him, looking particularly vulnerable in the dusk. Goshiki hesitates a split second too long on unlocking his bike. Hinata hands Goshiki his juice, apple, and Goshiki wants to hit himself for his intrusive thoughts. He does _not_ want to kiss Hinata to see if his mouth tastes like the apple juice.

Goshiki reluctantly takes the can and swallows a gulp. Heaviness presses down on them, a metaphorical elephant sitting on their chests, as Goshiki struggles to find something to say. He didn’t speak that much to Hinata at the training camp and all the sudden Hinata feels like a gravitational force in his life.

“Did you want to come over?” Goshiki blurts, stabbing the horribly awkward feeling clinging to his heart.

Hinata squeezes his can. Goshiki stares at the bubble of juice two seconds from bursting and spilling down the side of the can. “Um – another time?!” Hinata squeaks, launching himself off the rack, sloshing the juice so aggressively it splashed his pants. He swiftly fumbles with his lock, shakily ties it around his handlebars and bikes off with a small wave. Goshiki watches him go with bated breath, a part of him hopeful Hinata will turn around and accept his offer but he disappears around the corner a moment later.

Goshiki can’t figure out for the life of him why he thought to invite Hinata over.

* * *

 

The next time Goshiki sees Hinata, he’s not lurking outside the Shiratorizawa compound, but at the supermarket near his house. Hinata has a basket on his one arm, a smaller, female version of him on the other all while struggling to reach a bag of cereal.

It’s the weekend, Goshiki’s plans were to stay home, catch up on his homework and eat watermelon but his older sister had not-so-politely demanded he go out to buy ice cream and other assorted snacks. So here he was, hovering five feet away from Hinata with a basket full of candy and pocky, hundreds of words stuck to his lips with zero intention of spilling out. He shakes off his blatant staring and marches over to grab the cereal for him.

“Here,” Goshiki says, gruffly, and drops the cereal in Hinata’s basket. He peeks, seeing a bunch of cookies and some seaweed before he meets Hinata’s eyes. He’s sparkling again and Goshiki’s mouth feels dry.

“Thanks!” he chirps, his smile huge and inviting. Goshiki finds himself smiling, despite his best attempt not to. Hinata’s sister gawks at him, in the same unnerving way Hinata tends to look at people and Goshiki wonders if it runs in the family. “What are you doing here?”

His question sounds innocent but Goshiki can’t help but take it personally, for some reason. “I live nearby,” he says.

Hinata’s sister jumps in. “Nii-chan biked us here because they don’t have the snacks I like at the other store.”

Goshiki’s eyebrow arches and Hinata flushes. “N—Natsu!” he protests and Goshiki doesn’t know why he’s so embarrassed. Goshiki doesn’t know practically anything about Hinata, he shouldn’t even be surprised by that knowledge, but he is.

Goshiki shrugs. “Well I should be going,” he says, in way of excusing himself and bows quickly before he skirts around Hinata to the back of the store.

“Ah… bye!” Hinata says and hurries his sister to the till. Goshiki ignores the catch in Hinata’s voice. He tries not to run to the back of the store but he just wants to go home where he can focus on anything but Hinata. He grabs the ice cream bars his sister wanted (and one for himself of course, if his sister was paying) and when he gets to the register, he can see Hinata adjusting his sister in the basket before biking off. Goshiki places his money in the tray and pushes Hinata from his mind.

* * *

 

It’s a week before Nationals (Goshiki only knows this because Hinata talked his ear off at the last Shiratorizawa practice) and Hinata is hovering by Ushijima’s elbow as he explains something to him. Goshiki feels an ugly emotion punch his chest.

None of this makes sense. Hinata should be at Karasuno, getting ready with his own team not at Shiratorizawa, not talking to Ushijima.

When Hinata spots Goshiki, who was gripping a volleyball particularly hard a little way off, “listening” to Shirabu, he abandons Ushijima almost immediately. Hinata’s fingers brush Goshiki’s when he reaches for the volleyball in his hands and Goshiki almost drops it.

“Show me that spike again?!” Hinata asks, though it sounds more like a command and Goshiki wants to say no. He’s going to ask why Hinata’s here, ask why he keeps coming here, but… he finds himself yielding to the smile on Hinata’s face.

“Fine,” Goshiki says. Hinata cheers and races off to the court, Goshiki’s volleyball in hand. Shirabu squints at Goshiki before laughing. “What?”

“You’ve got it bad,” Shirabu tells him, following Hinata before Goshiki could wrap his around Shirabu’s words. He stands there for a long moment with a furrowed brow.

“ _What_?” he balks to himself and runs after Shirabu.

The third years are mostly here to run things now, provide guidance for the benched first years. Goshiki just thinks they don’t want to stop playing but the more knowledge he can get from them, the better.

He shows Hinata the spike again and twenty minutes later, Hinata could completely replicate what Goshiki did. In his amazement, Goshiki takes a spike from Hinata to the face. He hears Hinata’s shriek before he finds himself staring up at the ceiling with a coppery taste on his lips.

Hinata’s kneeling over him, a comically panicked expression on his face and Goshiki’s throat goes tight. Hinata presses the edge of his shirt to Goshiki’s nose and Goshiki gets a glimpse of Hinata’s flat stomach. Shirabu nudges Hinata out of his way, pressing a huge wad of Kleenex to Goshiki’s face in place of Hinata’s shirt. Tendou skulks over to scold Hinata.

When Goshiki can think clearly (thankfully his nose wasn’t broken), he sits off to the side of the gym with Hinata fretting at his side. Goshiki takes a long swig from his water, feeling a deep ache in his nose and his face pinches. Hinata apologizes again.

“It’s fine,” Goshiki says and he means it. Hinata screws his mouth shut. “Can I ask you something?”

Hinata rolls back on his heels, his nose wrinkling and Goshiki notices the smatter of freckles on the bridge of his nose. “Okay…”

“Is something going on at Karasuno?” he asks and when Hinata pales, Goshiki’s heart sinks. “Are you okay?!”

They sit in silence for a long moment as Hinata wets his lips. The sound of the practice match sounds like a gentle hum in Goshiki’s ears. The tips of Hinata’s ears turn pink.

“It’s stupid,” he says, crossing his arms around his legs, “I got into this dumb fight with Kageyama-kun and we made up but… I don’t know it’s just hard to go back.” He meets Goshiki’s imploring gaze and his blush spreads like wildfire. “I’ve gone to practice but it’s just awkward. Besides, I’ve convinced Ushiwaka to show me his spikes.” Goshiki’s stomach twists and the ugly feeling rears its unwanted head. But it fades when Hinata smiles at him. “Well, and more importantly your spike, Goshiki.”

A warm feeling Goshiki’s never had before swells in his chest, along with overwhelming pride. “Tsutomu,” he blurts.

Hinata cocks his head. “Tsutomu.” The way he tests Goshiki’s name on his tongue makes him ache. “Shouyo,” he adds, reaching over to touch Goshiki’s fingers. Goshiki short-circuits.

“And I don’t think it’s stupid,” Goshiki says, sincerely, “but you should talk to him, Nationals are next week and you better not lose. You better win.”

Hinata laughs. “You can count on it!”

* * *

 

When he gets the news that Karasuno won gold at Nationals, he didn’t think he would see Hinata lurking around Shiratorizawa. In fact, the last time he’d seen Hinata was at that last practice where he got to know him, just a little. There’s still so much he doesn’t know about Hinata but he decides that’s okay.

He isn’t surprised when he sees Hinata sitting on the bike rack. He is surprised, however, when Hinata leaps off the rack at the sight of Goshiki and barrels towards him. Goshiki takes a step back but opens his arms just in time for Hinata to launch himself at him. Hinata clings to Goshiki, his arms tight around his neck and Goshiki finds it increasingly difficult to breathe. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands but Hinata pulls away slightly before he has a chance to decide. His hands shakily find Hinata’s hips.

Hinata’s smile is blinding, but Goshiki realizes he doesn’t mind. “We won!”

He wishes, however, that Hinata’s smile wasn’t so infectious. “I know.”

And Hinata does the most astonishing, wonderful, unbelievable thing. He stretches up on his toes and plants a kiss on Goshiki’s mouth. “I used the spike you taught me on our match point.” The feeling in Goshiki’s chest surges, leaving him breathless.

“Good,” Goshiki says and leans down to kiss Hinata again. And again. And a third time for good measure. He’s lost count by the time Tendou breaks them apart and Hinata joins them for practice, for old time’s sake and for the first time in a while, Goshiki lets himself think about Hinata.

He trades numbers with Hinata once practice ends, kisses him goodbye and looks forward to the next time he sees Hinata. After all, practice matches are always more fun if you play against your boyfriend.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't even know i liked goshihina this much but then i wrote almost 2500 words about them with no plan in mind lolololol


End file.
